


Don't Let Me Go

by pleasuringlouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom!Harry, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Reality, Smut, don't let me go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-26 00:47:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/959596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasuringlouis/pseuds/pleasuringlouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry wrote.  Well.  In private, he wrote.  He had a small, brown leather booklet that he carried around with him pretty much everywhere.  If he had an idea for a song, he’d scribble it down that were usually forgotten or disregarded when they started working on their new album.  He didn’t mind much, not really, because he doesn’t think that that’s really just his call.  The recording company and his Management team were the ones that gave the songs the final ‘okay’, so he couldn’t do anything about it.</p><p> </p><p>But this – this is different.</p><p>This song is for Louis.  His boyfriend.  His dirty little secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dreamofmusic16 on Wattpad](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=dreamofmusic16+on+Wattpad).



> Okay so this took my like two months to write because I didn't want to rush it, but it's finally done so?? I hope you guys like it :)

Harry wrote.  Well.  In private, he wrote.  He had a small, brown leather booklet that he carried around with him pretty much everywhere.  If he had an idea for a song, he’d scribble it down that were usually forgotten or disregarded when they started working on their new album.  He didn’t mind much, not really, because he doesn’t think that that’s really just his call.  The recording company and his Management team were the ones that gave the songs the final ‘okay’, so he couldn’t do anything about it.

 

But this – this is different.

 

This song is for Louis.  His boyfriend.  His _dirty little secret_.

 

They’d worked together on a lot of songs that were for their second album, Take Me Home, including Back For You and They Don’t Know About Us.  Hell, Harry had even written Little Things with Ed and Fiona for Louis.  But this – this was different.  This was a whole other level because these were all his words.  Sam had helped him with the music, but the words were completely his.  And, well, he was going to record it.  The best part about this, though, was the fact that everyone was going to know that this had been written by _Harry fucking Styles_.  All him.

 

The first time that the words had come to him was when they’d heard about how ‘Haylor’ back in October.  It hadn’t even started off as a publicity stunt.  The media had made some shit story up about how Harry and Taylor had had a fling back in Australia in 2012, which was… completely made up, to put it bluntly.  The fans had gone crazy though, and the articles just kept piling up about how there was some sort of _thing_ going between the two top artists in the world at the moment.  Of course, Modest! had immediately leapt into action and formed a plan with Taylor Swift’s manager.  They added quotes into new magazines, fueling the already burning flames until it exploded in December when Taylor and him were supposedly going to get together.

 

Louis had nearly called it quits right then and there.

 

The problem with Louis was that he suffered in silence.  He was snarky and dodgy about the majority of the questions that you asked him, and no matter how frustrated or angry you got, he’d refuse to give in.  He was like a child, and that was one of the things that drove Harry up the wall with insanity because he _hated_ it.  He’d taunt and embarrass him in public, making snappy retorts about him and Taylor Swift and even if they both knew that there was absolutely nothing going on between the pair, Louis had still practically made it his job to humiliate him.

 

So, yes, to say the least – Harry and Louis had not been the happiest couple back then.  They had had a huge fight, right after their tour had ended, and it blew up to the point where Louis had stormed out of the house.  They hadn’t spoken for two days afterwards, until Niall had timidly returned Louis back to the house with a demand to _get this fucker to stop moping_.  Harry had slipped Louis back into his arms and they’d resulted in some make-up sex for their lost time.

 

Of course, it didn’t stop there.  Management had called Eleanor over across the sea to ‘love it up’ with Louis in a shopping spree.  The poor girl felt bad, as she really wasn’t as horrible as people thought, and had attempted to get Louis to play the part.  The worst part, though, was the HQ photos of them that came out afterwards.  All the fans noticed the decrease in the boy’s happiness; the lack of light in his cerulean-blue eyes and the fact that he wasn’t even bothering to hold Eleanor’s hand in the pictures.  It had been a horrible couple of days with Management screaming at the 20-year old over the phone and fans crying over the fact that their idol appeared to be nothing but an empty shell of absolutely nothing.

 

Harry had been furious; throwing a complete fit and trying not to cry in front of their team.  The other boys’ had been completely helpless, merely able to do nothing but watch as their best friends – their _brothers_ – were molded into puddles of tears and bloody, broken hearts.

 

 

“That’s _it_ , Harry!  I’m done.  I’m so fucking _done_ right now.”  Louis shouted from across the hotel room, his hands curled into fists and tears springing in his once-soft, gentle blue eyes.

 

“Louis, please.  Don’t.  I don’t want to fight.”  Harry whimpered quietly.  He was sitting on the double bed, his body shrinking in on itself as he wrapped his arms around his legs.  His chin rested between his knees, limbs trembling and maybe heart breaking a little bit more.

 

“This isn’t a fight.  I’m just done.  I can’t do this anymore.  None of this is even worth it.”  Louis spat.  Harry couldn’t help but to flinch at that.  He wasn’t worth it?

 

“M’not worth it?”  Harry whimpered quietly, his gaze averting elsewhere across the room and face beginning to screw up that flushed reddish colour that it always got when he was about to cry.

 

“Not – I mean.  Yes, you are, H.  You know you are.  It’s just – what Management is doing.  It’s not worth it.  I just want to love you.”  Louis whispered quietly, slumping his shoulders in utter defeat.

 

“We can, Louis.  We _will_.  Give us some time.  Don’t give up yet.”  Harry pleaded desperately.

 

“I’ve given us time.  I’ve given us _so much_ time.”  Louis replied quietly, his gaze looking just as broken as he had suspected.  There was nothing he could do, though; nothing that _either_ of them could do.  Their management team controlled their lives now.  What they said goes.  It was how their life worked now and, no matter how much it fucking sucked, they were unable to change it.

 

“Is this it, then?  Are you really breaking up with me, Louis?”  Harry whispered quietly, his smoldering green eyes glazed over with fresh tears as he sniffled and rubbed over them furiously in an attempt to rid himself of them.

 

“Harry…” Louis trailed off quietly, sniffling a bit, and rubbing over his nose, “I just think we need a break.”  He croaked out.  Harry didn’t even have to pick his head up to know that Louis was opening the door, clicking it shut quietly behind him.  Rolling over, the boy sobbed into the pillows as the night enveloped him into nothing but darkness and an empty heart.

 

 

The following week was torturous.  Harry was forced to stay in LA with Taylor while the rest of the band flew out back home.  Louis had tried to call Harry, whimpering pathetically from the other end of the line and simply telling the boy to _come home_.  When they did return home, Taylor and Harry were immediately rushed into London to take pictures with feeding birds.  It was pathetic, really, because Harry _distinctively_ remembered doing this with Louis.  He also remembered going on a ski trip that him and Taylor were apparently pending, along with Harry meeting Taylor’s mum.

 

That probably was the awkwardest of times.  Taylor’s mum didn’t know that Harry was a publicity stunt, so she insisted that they stayed for tea.  Taylor clung to her ‘boyfriend’ more often, kissing him whenever possible in front of her mum, and god.  Harry absolutely hated himself.  He wanted to kiss _Louis_ , not her.  Not anyone, actually.  The only one for him was Louis, and he missed him – so much.  He didn’t know how much longer he could take it, and just when he was about to break after the fifth time they went for a walk with the paps, Management sent Taylor back home.

 

It had been a relief, and Harry had practically sank back into his own bed with a promise that tomorrow would be better.  Why?  Because he was throwing a surprise party for Louis.

 

They still weren’t back together (had they even broken up in the first place? They were just on a _break_ ), but Harry had plans for the night of Louis’ party.  Sure, Eleanor had to be there, but _Taylor_ didn’t.  And that was definitely a bonus, if he did say so himself.

 

Harry clutched his notebook close to him, promising himself that he’d call Sam in the morning for just a little bit of help, and slept soundlessly that night.

 

 

           

            Louis had been surprised, to say the least, when he’d opened the door to his and Harry’s house to find his family, friends and a bunch of other people that he hadn’t seen in so long.  They all shouted the same _Happy birthday, Louis!_ before crowding in close to each give them their own separate hugs and kisses.  Harry hung in the back, simply watching, and smiling stupidly to himself as he did so.  He had always been a bit of a sappy boyfriend and he never passed up on an opportunity to make him smile.  And, really, how could he?  This was Louis – his love, his life.  He was the one that should be making him smile, not cry.  Life sucked, yes, but there never was a promise that life as a pop star would be easy.  They just needed to learn how to get over it.

 

When Louis finally reached Harry through the crowd of people, the boy merely shoved the cake in his direction and smiled bashfully.  “Here, Lou.  Happy 21st birthday.”  He smiled, leaning into his side with Liam on the other so that someone could click a photo of them.  Melting back into the crowd before Louis could say anything, Harry made his way through the crowded rooms in the direction of the dining area where the real food was.  He passed the group of people, stepping inside of the small room where he would be dining with Louis.  Harry just wanted to talk to Louis again, to make him realize that it _was_ worth it.  It would be.  They just needed to give these sorts of things time, and besides – the contract with Taylor was only for a month.  It was almost January and sure, he needed to kiss her for New Years, but everyone knew that they wouldn’t make it past Valentine’s Day – or the end of January.

 

Liam had helped him to set their table up, their food set out on nice plates from the chefs that he had hired for the party.  There was a bottle of red wine in the middle of the table, and he smiled to himself as he fiddled with the tablecloth a bit anxiously.  There was a red rose also splayed out across the table beside Louis’ plate, and Harry swayed from side-to-side as he waited for Liam to bring the boy out to meet him.  He had thought this through carefully, promising himself that he would only steal Louis away for two hours at the most before allowing him time to mingle with his family again.  The last thing he wanted to do was to keep everyone wondering where the birthday boy went.

 

“Harry?”

 

Louis’ voice startled him at first, but he was quick to straighten himself out and turn his gaze up to meet the confused blue-eyed boy’s gaze.

 

“Hi, Lou.”  Harry murmured quietly, gesturing to the table, “Do you want to, uhm, have dinner?  With me?”  He asked slowly, his bottom lip caught between his teeth and really – how could Louis say no to that little kitten face?

 

“Okay.”  Louis agreed softly, stepping forwards a bit to settle himself down uncomfortably in the chair across from Harry.  He exhaled, slowly, and eyed the food that was served to them on a plate.  It was a steak with mash potatoes and seasoned green beans, from what he could tell.  Poking around the food for a while, he chewed on his lower lip as he did so and proceeded then to begin eating the food with a small hum of approval.  “It’s really good.  Thank you, Harry.”  He smiled, glancing up at the boy as he spoke.

 

Harry smiled at Louis, shyly, and ducked his head down a little bit before he was clearing his throat, “I’m, uh, going to play something for you.  Can you just – let it finish?  Before you freak out or whatever?”  He managed to rasp out hopefully, his eyebrows pulling together as he spoke.

 

Louis paused at that from where he had the food halfway into his mouth, dropping his fork hastily with a ‘clang’ and sitting up a bit straighter in his chair.   “Harry-“ He began, only to be cut off as Harry held a hand up to stop him from speaking.

 

“Just.  Please?”  He said quietly, furrowing his eyebrows together a bit as he spoke.  Reluctantly, Louis agreed with a small nod and watched as Harry pushed himself up from the chair and wandered over to the stereo that was at the corner of the room.  He clicked the ‘play’ button, furrowing his eyebrows a bit as a soft beat began to roll out across the room.

 

_“Now you were standing there right in front of me,_

_I hold on, it’s getting harder to breathe._

_All of a sudden these lights are blinding me,_

_I never noticed how bright they would be…”_

 

Louis' eyes widened at the familiar voice that rang out across the small venue dining room. He sucked in a sharp breath and turned his gaze up to lock it onto Harry's smoldering green eyes. The boy was already staring at him, his eyes brimming with uncertainty. Neither of them spoke for a long while, instead just listening intently to the music and Harry's voice that played softly from the radio dock where Harry's iPod was plugged in.

 

_“I saw in the corner there is a photograph,_

_No doubt in my mind it’s a picture of you._

_It lies there alone in its bed of broken glass,_

_This bed was never made for two._

_I’ll keep my eyes wide open,_

_I’ll keep my arms wide open._

_Don’t let me,_

_Don’t let me,_

_Don’t let me go,_

_‘Cause I’m tired of feeling alone…”_

 

As the second verse came around, Louis was pretty sure that he was about to break down.  He sniffled quietly, rubbing over his eyes with the heels of his palms roughly because god.  Harry had fucking wrote him a bloody _song_.

 

_“Don’t let me go, ‘cause I’m tired of sleeping alone…”_

 

As it finished, Louis was rubbing at his eyes and choking on his own sobs.

 

"Lou-" Harry started, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as if he were ready to explain himself for his rather odd behavior. And the song.

 

"No, shut up. Let me - shit. Let me think." Louis spluttered, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times as if he were a fish out of water. Thoughts were racing in his mind, his tongue feeling dry and throat closing up around a lump. "Okay. Okay, so you -- wrote a song. For me? About me?" He questioned slowly, staring across the table at the fidgeting curly-haired boy.

 

"I - uhm. In the X-Factor, do you remember? There was a question -- 'what is the most romantic thing you would do for a girl?' And I- you 'member what I said? I'd write them a song and, well, I wasn’t kidding. I don't wanna lose you, 'cause you're like. My whole world. I don't. I don't want you to let me go, Louis." He rasped, his voice low and quiet as he stared at the blue-eyed boy.

 

Louis was silent for a while, blinking a couple of times, and he momentarily forgot about the fact that this was his /birthday/ party. It seemed like it was just him and Harry now, and he loved it. No Taylor, no Eleanor, no management. No one to say 'you can't.' Inhaling a deep breath, he rubbed over his face before he was laughing breathlessly and shaking his head in disbelief. "Are you calling me a girl, Styles?" He teased, his heartbeat thrumming in his chest like a hummingbird.

 

Harry's eyes widened, as if he was appalled by the thought, "Wha-? No! I was just-"

 

"I'm kidding, love. C'mere." Louis sighed, reaching over the table to snag Harry by the collar of his shirt. Hauling in up out of his seat, he closed his eyes as their lips met in the middle. A small growl over approval sounded from Louis' mouth as he pushed himself forwards a bit more. Sliding the hand up that wasn't gripping onto the fabric of Harry's shirt up around his neck; he laced his fingers in his soft curls. Harry moaned his approval, his hands gripping onto the sides of the table as they snogged.

 

Fuck, he missed this.

 

Sucking Harry's bottom lip between his teeth, he nibbled on the flesh and licked his way up into his mouth. As they mouthed against one another with small noises passing from the back of their throats, they both struggled to breathe. Their chests heaved when they broke apart, and Louis leaned their foreheads together as they both caught their breath. "Fucking hell. You're going to kill me." He gasped, bumping their noses against one another.

 

Harry smiled widely at that, exhaling slowly and parting his lips as he reached up to tangle his hand into Louis’ hair with a small, soft noise of approval.  “I love you.”  He rasped softly.

 

“I love you too.  Even if you’re a dork and cheesy as fuck.”  Louis mumbled with a twitch of his lips.

 

“You _love_ the fact that I’m cheesy as fuck.”  Harry retorted with a small whine, jutting his bottom lip out into an exaggerated pout.  He knocked his feet out, curling them around Louis’ bare ankles from beneath the table.

 

“We are _not_ playing footsies, Styles.”  Louis scoffed, drawling back with a glint of fondness in his cerulean-blue eyes.

 

“You’re the worst.”

 

The eldest of the pair simply rolled his eyes, returning to sipping on his wine for a moment before he was stretching his arms up above his head and groaning.  “I really don’t want to go back out there with all of those people.  Why did you have to throw such a big party for me?”  He mused.

 

“You love big parties!”  Harry exclaimed in disbelief.

 

“Not when I want to fuck you.”  Louis replied with a small frown etched across his facial features.

 

Harry made a noise at the back of his throat at that, biting down hard on his throat and curling his hands into fists at his sides.  He swallowed thickly, his cheeks practically flaming as he ducked his head down a bit.  “Oh.”  He squeaked.

 

“Come on.  I’ve already said hi to everyone.”  Louis said, not even bothering to finish his meal as he pushed himself up to his feet and offered a hand for Harry to take.  He linked their fingers together, offering the boy a kind smile and leaning up a bit on his tiptoes to press a reassuring kiss against his lips.  Drawing away afterwards, he turned and led the way through the dining room away from where the majority of the other people were.  He trotted up the steps that led to their bedroom, pushing open the door and closing it behind the two.

 

“Lou, there’s people downstairs.  They could hear.”  He said slowly, chewing on his bottom lip nervously as he spoke.

 

“I don’t really give a shit.”  Louis mused, releasing the hold that he had on Harry and leaning forwards instead to begin unbuttoning his shirt, shedding the boy of his blazer and- oh.  “You’re wearing the same shirt as me.”

 

“I didn’t mean to.  They’re- it’s a different color.”  Harry stuttered, his curls falling down in front of his face as he ducked his head down a bit.

 

“It’s like you’re my mirror.”  Louis chimed, his voice all soft and singsong as he did so.

 

“I hate you.  Get on the bed.”  Harry muttered, scrunching his nose up a bit as he spoke and dropping his shirts down onto the floor.

 

“Nope.  I’m in charge.”

 

“You’re _always_ in charge.”  The curly-haired bloke protested.

 

“And you love it.  You get on the bed.”  Louis retorted, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his foot against the ground as he did so.

 

Harry huffed angrily under his breath, though it was fond if anything as he tugged his trousers and boxers off.  Kicking off his shoes and socks afterwards, he stalked over to the bed in all his naked glory, dropping himself down onto the mattress spread eagle.

 

“Good boy.”  Louis praised, smiling a bit to himself as he reached behind himself to tug his shirt up off of his head.  He shook his curls out, passing his tongue over his lips and exhaling slowly through his nose.  His gaze drifted up and down his boyfriend’s lanky body, and he wasn’t sure if the room was just hotter or if he was sweating because of Harry, but his palms were clammy and he was already worked up, so.  He swallowed thickly, dropping his pants and boxers afterwards.  “Gonna be good for me, love?”  He murmured softly, his voice raspy layered with desire.

 

Harry’s cheeks were already a soft pink as he nodded furiously in response to Louis, his eyes wide and pupils blown.  “Yeah, Lou.  Promise.”  He rasped, sniffing a bit and rubbing his hands down his own torso.

 

“Good.”  He mumbled, crawling up along the mattress to hover over Harry. Louis eyed him, his gaze flittering up and down his long body before he was nudging the boy’s thighs apart to separate them.  Grinding his teeth together, he rubbed his hips down hard once against Harry’s groin, forcing a loud moan from him.

 

“Fuck, don’t do that.”  Harry hissed, tipping his head back and giving Louis more access to his neck from where he had began mouthing loosely down across his jawline.

 

“Don’t do what?  This?”  Louis teased, rubbing down against him again and causing Harry to arch his back, bucking his hips upwards in search of more friction.

 

“ _Louis_.”  Harry gasped, clawing at Louis’ back and burying his face into the crook of his neck as a broken sound left his parted lips.

 

Louis smiled a bit smugly to himself, ducking his head down and pressing their lips together briefly before he was shuffling over to dig out a bottle of lubrication and condom from their second drawer of the nightstand.  Popping open the cap, he slicked three of his fingers up carefully as Harry bent his knees to give him a bit more access, breathing out shakily.

 

“Hurry.”  The younger boy mumbled, draping an arm over his eyes as he felt the cool first digit of Louis pressing into his soft heat.  He ground his teeth together, muscles tensing upon instinct and causing him to hiss.  It had been a while, okay?

 

Louis tsk’d Harry softly in response, nudging his finger in a bit deeper until he was able to press it in completely, burrowing his digit to the knuckle.  He exhaled slowly, turning his face around to nuzzle it into the inside of his thigh.  “Love you so fucking much.”  He murmured.

 

Harry smiled a bit at that, adjusting within a couple more moments and beginning to rock down slightly against the intrusion.  “Okay, I’m- go.  More, please.”  He gasped, curling his toes into the bedspread and twisting his head off to the side at the sudden onslaught of pleasure.

 

Louis obliged, pressing in a second finger and barely waiting for Harry to agree before he was settling in a third one afterwards.  The boy beneath him grew rigid, his breathing heavy and uneven at the pressure riding up around his sensitive area.

 

“Fuck.”  Harry managed to ground out, biting his tongue and exhaling slowly as he tipped his head back a bit.  “Okay, um.”  He muttered, his body relaxed eventually after a moment or two.

 

Louis crooked his fingers off to the side hesitantly, glancing up at Harry as he did so and he probably would have missed the expression of pleasure if it wasn’t for the loud moan that broke through the silence of the room.

 

“Shhh!  There’s people downstairs.”  Louis laughed, but rubbed up against the same spot again without much hesitation.  Harry’s body jolted with the pressure, biting at the skin of his forearm to stop the noises that were threatening to fall from his nose as he rocked down onto the fingers still buried inside of him.

 

“Oh.  Okay, okay.  M’ready.”  Harry groaned after another few minutes, the tingling around the base of his spine already beginning to build as he rocked down a bit harder.

 

“Okay, calm down, love.  Gonne be alright.”  Louis cooed softly, nuzzling down to press a soft kiss against the underside of the boy’s cock before he was pulling back again.  Carefully slipping his fingers out from Harry, he wiped them off against the bed sheets and tore open the condom package with his teeth.  Rolling the latex over his hard cock, he spread more of the lube out across the rubber that protected himself.  Shuffling forwards, he grasped onto Harry’s thighs to nudge them back against his chest.  “Look at me, Harry.”  Louis rasped, his eyes locked on Harry’s arm as he removed it from his face to oblige to his command.  “Good.”  He breathed, locking their eyes together as he pushed inside of him slowly.

 

Harry’s Adam’s apple bobbed against the column of his throat as he rocked up into the touch almost immediately, a small whine falling from his lips and fingers digging into the mattress.  “Shit.”  He cursed under his breath, his sweaty curls matted atop of his head.

 

“You’re okay.”  Louis assured him softly as he settled inside of him for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip and furrowing his eyebrows.  He was so _hot_ and _tight_.  He didn’t understand how he could ever hold on for so long with Harry wrapped around him like this; it never made any sense to him.

 

“Go.  Go, go, go.”  Harry urged with a groan, his hands reaching around Louis to grasp onto his arse and usher him onwards.

 

Louis eagerly obeyed, his hips drawing back before slamming forwards again hard enough to hike them both up the bed a bit.  He began to build up a steady rhythm, soft grunts falling from his parted lips each thrust forwards.  Harry was a sweaty mess beneath him, writhing along the bed and digging his fingernails into his skin while desperate cries left his mouth.

 

Louis didn’t quite understand how he could have ever even thought of breaking up with this beautiful boy and it almost hurt him now.  He had nearly broken Harry, and it felt almost inhuman for him to do such a thing.

 

“Louis- Lou, Lou.”  Harry grunted in order to regain his attention again, his hands dragging lines up his back as he burrowed them into his soft hair.  Tugging Louis down for a kiss, he tensed around him and toppled over the edge with a loud moan that reverberated off of the walls.  Louis arched above him obscenely, his head falling forwards and body stilling as he spilled out into the condom with his own moan.  “Okay, okay.”  He gasped after a moment once they had both rode out their highs, collapsing down on top of Harry’s sweaty chest.

 

“Fuck.”  Harry rasped, tipping his head back a bit and staring up at the ceiling, his hands still playing with Louis’ stray strands of brown hair.  “That was- are we okay?”  He stuttered after a moment, the soft hum of the party that was still going on downstairs ringing through his ears.

 

Louis glanced up at Harry as he spoke, blinking a couple of times hazily before he was offering the boy a kind smile and nodding his head almost a little bit too eagerly.  “Yeah.  We’re going to be okay, Haz.”  He rasped softly, nuzzling forth a bit to connect their mouths into a sloppy, fond kiss as if to deal the deal.

 

 

 

And they were okay.  A couple of months later, they rejoiced themselves in Japan and everything was _okay_.  Management still hadn’t given up, but they had each other and at the end of the day, they were never going to let each other go.

 

 


End file.
